Roads & Employment

Coming back home on the bus today it dawned on me that Wellington streets must employ some kind of highly advanced quantum synchronicity effect. Nothing else explains how something the size of a bloody bus manages to barrel around what I will generously call a narrow road, but what might otherwise be referred to as a goat track, and never quite manage to run headlong into an oncoming car. The terrified observer looking out the bus window will see that cars always seem to arrive approximately 3.5 seconds before the ideal collision moment, instead screeching to a halt around the precarious hair-pin turn as the enormous yellow passenger-filled juggernaut of death rumbles past, two wheels hanging over a 50 foot drop down into a house full of stoned first year philosophy students.

Somewhere out there is an illuminati supercomputer, it's unfathomable algorithms preventing Wellington from becoming a smoking mess of wreckage strewn hills. I'll know when some intern finally succumbs to the temptation to surf porn on this sacred machine because it will suddenly start raining flaming car tyres all around the CBD.

First thing I found when I googled 'bus on cliff'...

IN OTHER, SLIGHTLY MORE LIKELY NEWS I have indeed fallen back into full time employment! Slay the fattened calf and release the celebratory dressage yaks! I'm gainfully employed with a local city newspaper as their Senior Designer, a title that will forever boost my resume up past the great unwashed masses and cause lesser designers to gnash their teeth in tearful impotence. I start this very Wednesday and will be undertaking eight days of training with the current design guy, and then it's all me baby.

To say that this is a weight off my shoulders would be something of an understatement. After the great foot disaster of 2011 and subsequent six months of unemployment and confinement, this feels like a brand new start on life. Here's to 2012 being awesome.