Well folks, it seems once again I must put the record straight, after this foul piece of slanderous slander made itself known to me, mainly in the form of Annika snickering away to herself like a hyena as she sat at her laptop, occasionally pausing to look up at me and openly laugh, then resume her spinning of the WEB OF LIES.
So let me tell you how it actually was.
We're driving down the road after an invigorating and entirely cholesterol free trip to the beach, when out of the blue my eardrums were shattered by a scream so high pitched that it caused nearby car alarms to go off and local dogs to start howling forlornly off in the distance. This wail of distress is immediately followed by the massively unconvincing words 'okay try not to panic' as Annika starts pulling over to the curb, making every gesture that down on the floor of the car is some skittering nightmarish creature of fangs and eyestalks and enough poison to put down a rugby team of Welsh cyborg miners.
Well, under the circumstances my actions were somewhat justified I feel. I sprang to the fore, my manly protective instincts immediately taking over. In a deep voice that, later on, I would realise sounded much like James Earl Jones with a kiwi accent, I calmly told Annika that I would assist with this situation, and was ready to remove myself from the vehicle with every intention, I assure you dear readers, of heading around the car to her side in order to take on this mandibled denizen of the underworld in some kind of heroic combat. Possibly I would slap its face with my glove and challenge it to fisticuffs.
Sadly the insect turned out to be a small bit of rubber that had landed on Annika's foot, so instead of watching me defeat the beast, she had to amuse herself with a totally made up story.
Luckily I'm on hand to tell you the truth, eh?
