A phrase that's been stuck in my head a bit over the last few days is 'I'm not that guy any more.' Specifically, I've been pondering the danger of using such a phrase (and I have, several times). Like, I'd obviously want to think that I'm not the guy who's done various shitty things to people in both the long and recent past, right? We all would, I reckon. But I am, that's the thing. I'm totally that guy, which means the ability to do those shitty things again is within me.
I dunno. Is that really obvious? Possibly it is. I hang out with pretty awesome people, and I think I'm trailing behind some of my friends in the self awareness department, so maybe this is a thing that's already been assimilated by those luckless few who pour over these ramblings of mine, but still. I think it's worth discussing! You will always be the person who cheated on your partner, who drunkenly lashed out at someone else, who stole that money. I will always be that person who has betrayed confidences, who has cracked jokes at the expense of his mates, who has badly used people when life got a wee bit shit.
Worth thinking about I reckon. Weirdly, it makes me more confident to do so, since knowing what I'm capable of makes it easier to safeguard against that sort of thing. Elementary stuff which some of you probably take for granted by now, but this is what's currently in my head, and I'm trying to get back to more of that with this blog . And to think this was going to be an update about work...
1 comment:
Wisely it is said:
"It is not the quantity of your fuck-ups, but the quality of your amends by which you shall be judged"
Or something. I made that up, but I bet someone said it sometime. Everyone, all the time, says and does fucked up things. Nature of the beast. It's how you deal with that, how you make amends, and how you take steps to avoid it happening again that counts, in my book.
You've always been (as long as I've known you) an exemplary owner of your own shit.
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